I have been on the Cape for a week. It is the only constant in our lives.
After 16 years in London we are moving back to America. Or not. Both my sons will be in college by September, my daughter will be in eighth grade. But where? If my husband finds a job in London, to replace the old job in London, we will stay. Or not. If he finds a job in Boston, we will move. Or not. I am a gifted juggler: kids, house, school, writing, chainsaws, bowling balls, random fruit. But this? Stay, go, England, America, Library Science degree, novel. I am usually the commando commit girl. See it, size it up, do. This change changed me. I don’t know what scares me more; making a decision or floating in this limbo until I forfeit the right to make the decision at all.
Right now, in this moment I feel a longing for ‘home’ moving through me as real and powerful as the sea at our doorstep. I just have to find my way there.